This Inevitable Ruin
Floor 9: Planetary Faction Wars on Larracos
Authored by Matt Dinniman • Narrated by Jeff Hays / Soundbooth Theater
The dreaded Floor 9 Faction Wars unleash all-out planetary conflict upon the surface of Larracos. Sovereign galactic factions, deity avatars, planetary armies, and mercenary freighters invade the dungeon to fight for territorial supremacy. Carl, wielding the Gate of the Feral Gods and the power of the Anarchist's Cookbook, orchestrates the total collapse of the ruling corporate cartels and brings war to the gods themselves.
- • All-Out Planetary Warfare
- • Godslaying and Divine Hubris
- • Corporate Hegemony Destruction
- • Martyrdom & Ascension
- • Ascendant Deities (Emberus & Harpocrates)
- • Planetary Armadas & Strike Fleets
- • Corporate Board Directors
- • The Peeling of Larracos
Canonical Milestone Timeline 17 Checkpoints
Major convergence events and narrative beats mapped across Book 7.
Day One Truce & Fortress FUPA
Landing in the mud of Larracos; Donut brokers an immediate truce with Team Retribution ("Ferdinand and his Bird" alliance); establishing the Fortress of Unyielding Power and Authority (FUPA); arrival of 50,000+ returning crawler mercenaries on a garbage freighter.
Doggie Door Upgrades & Donut Holes Outrage
Safe room enhanced with tier-3 Doggie Door rapid transit; Donut is outraged by syndicated fan apparel featuring a graphic cat-rear caricature titled "Donut Holes."
The Unlawful Ceasefire Suicide Attack
Ogre elite Herman the Fleet mentally coerced by Sensation Entertainment into an illegal suicide bombing run in the FUPA flag room; Adjutant Victory calls a system foul.
Glory Bound Procedure & The Fall of Lemig Sortion
Carl undergoes a 10-hour medical procedure to trap Shi Maria in her own memories; Commander Stockade attempts an illegal teleport sabotage, loses his mind to Shi Maria's wards, and smashes his own skull; Lemig Sortion eliminated.
Birth of the Dino-Bear Litter
Kiwi goes into active labor in Shanty Town, delivering a litter of hybrid Mongoliensis dino-bear cubs with Mongo.
Operation Snake Pit & Defeat of the Prism
Princess Posse stealth assault on Prism throne room; clockwork Mongo decors disarm wards; Carl tags Empress D'Nadia with the Ring of Divine Suffering; Mongo lands the killing blow; Sergeant Toyotomi and assets absorbed.
Volteeg's Fragging of the Operatic Collective
7th Edition Cookbook author Volteeg packs a Weeper-class tank with explosives in a solo vengeance strike; 10,000 Bloc troops and Warlord Hortense vaporized; assets awarded to the Bone Clan.
Warlord Council Broadcast
All faction leaders summoned live with Chaco and Odette; external galactic war in the Borant system exposed alongside news directory loopholes.
Khepri's Temple & Fall of the Blood Sultanate
Naga royals hide as beetles in Club Vanquisher buffet; massive temple brawl; bug god Khepri banished by Hellik (marking Carl); Kandy "Bigs" kills Vinata; Blood Sultanate defeated, clearing Katia and Donut's succession curse.
Fall of the Nest Tower
Sergeant Toyotomi and mercenary Bomo fall in battle holding the Nest perimeter against Lucia Mar's assault.
Eris's Witnesses & Li Jun's Sacrifice
Goddess Eris freezes thousands into a helpless pile; Donut activates Rolling Battle Formation scooping players and gods; Li Jun sacrifices his robotic eye to slow time, dying to Harpocrates to guide the formation.
Atrocity #3: "War Crime" & Oak Fell Druid
Donut unleashes the devastating spell War Crime across the corpse field, crushing and burning thousands; awarded the Oak Fell class and title "Champion of Nekhebit."
Death of Architect Houston & Fall of the Madness
Infiltrating surgical theater labs where crawlers are mutilated; Carl kills Houston, triggering The Peeling of Larracos phase.
War Mage Rebellion & Agatha's Rule
Agatha passes the brutal instant-death item (allies drop dead upon warlord defeat) before deserting to Floor 10; Akuma flees, defeating the War Mages.
Fall of the Reavers and the Dream
Carl detonates remote No Disassembles and Waffle Makers inside Reaver castle, killing Warlord Fang; Louis's organs salvaged into a flesh golem body, destroying Epitome Tagg's heart; both teams eliminated.
Emberus Cremation & Katia's Ascension
Samantha mocks the death of Geyrun, prompting an enraged Emberus to initiate a 66-minute total floor incineration; Donut strips CEO Huanxin Jinx with Laundry Day; Mordecai executes her with an ash bolt; Katia ascends to Floor 12 as a celestial attendant.
Princess Posse Victory & The Scolopendra Awakening
Team Retribution forfeits; Princess Posse officially wins Faction Wars; Justice Light snaps twine triggers dropping Bijou and Demon traps into the Nothing portal, draining it into Sheol and the Ascendency to prematurely awaken Scolopendra.
Pivotal Crawlers & Entities 9 Profiles
Key crawlers, corporate sponsors, and floor bestiary entities active throughout Book 7.
Carl
Human
Princess Donut
Grand Champion Persian Cat (Hyper-Intelligent Awakened)
Mordecai
Skyfowl (Original) / Changeling
Li Jun
crawler_ally
Katia Grim
Human / Doppelgänger
Louis Santiago
character
Samantha (Psamathe's Vessel)
companion
Scolopendra
character
Valtay Corporation
Biomancy, Neural Interfaces, and Augmentations
System AI Achievements Earned20 Accolades
Canonical World Dungeon AI announcements, reprimands, and loot box rewards unlocked throughout Book 7.
Sushi Smoothie!
"Yeah, I just made this achievement up on the fly. But, holy shit! You annihilated that thing! You could probably start a business making confetti out of corpses with that skill! Next time use your foot."
Context: Awarded when Carl obliterates an invading aquatic demon in the Floor 9 entry lake.
You’ve received a sushi-making kit!
Lord of the Flies!
"Social structures are breaking down. You set a trap module targeted specifically for a fellow crawler, and they triggered it. That’s the first step. It’s always the first step."
Context: Awarded when Ren’s rival crawler squad sets off Carl’s teleport trap array at the Capitol.
You’ve received a Gold I Have the Conch Box!
Demons Hate This One Trick!
"Hey, what do you mean you can’t teleport the demon-possessed? If only Father Merrin had known about this, the Exorcist would’ve been a much-shorter movie."
Context: Awarded when Samantha teleports the entire beach of demon-possessed zombie shells directly into the fray.
Your food boxes all now give an unlimited supply of Pea Soup.
Chickenshit Exploit!
"You took a very carefully built game system, and you broke the ever-loving shit out of it. You used that exploit to help kill a fellow crawler!"
Context: Awarded when Carl bypasses intended PvP mechanics using geometry and physics loopholes.
You’ve received a Platinum Rulebreaker Box.
Celestial Loot!
"You’re just gonna randomly pick a celestial item up off the floor? That’s ballsy. You do this four more times, and something really cool happens."
Context: Awarded upon looting the dead crawler Quan’s celestial mantle directly from the dirt.
You’ve received a Loot Punch Card.
Used Pet!
"People sure like to make a big deal out of adopting pets. They "rescue" them before spending the next 10 years exploiting them on social media. Do you know how many animals were in locked cages during collection?"
Context: Awarded upon adopting or transferring custody of an abandoned war mount/pet on Floor 9.
You’ve received a Silver Rescue Pet Box.
Uh oh. It talks.
"You’ve discovered a sapient weapon. Have you noticed there are very few well-known crawlers with sapient weapons out there, even though those weapons are usually quite powerful? Good luck with that."
Context: Awarded after acquiring Jefferson the Talking Sock from Quan’s belongings.
You’ve received a pair of earplugs.
Touched by a Demon!
"You have been physically touched by a demon lord of Sheol, and you’ve lived to talk about it. Do you know how many of these achievements have ever been handed out? One. Just one, and it’s to you."
Context: Awarded when Carl survives physical contact with high-tier demon lord forces during the Faction Wars offensive.
You’ve received a cassette copy of Dio’s 1983 masterpiece debut, Holy Diver along with a Celestial Heavy Metal Box.
Crab Chowder!
"You jerked off a crab. You really need therapy."
Context: Awarded during an absurd tactical manipulation of a giant crustacean siege mob.
All food items in your food boxes now have the option to be served “chowder style.”
Unbirthing!
"If you still had access to Google, I would warn you not to look that one up. But that’s okay. You experienced it first-hand yourself. It hurt, didn’t it? It was extra tingly while you were in there, struggling to breathe as you were... crushed. And then you slipped, you slided back out into the fiery, cruel world. And you glistened. Oh, oh god. You glistened."
Context: Awarded when Carl teleports inside Samantha’s neck stump cavity and bursts back out.
You’ve received a Legendary Spicy Box.
Gavrilo Princip!
"You just assassinated Empress D’Nadia. You just toppled the matriarch of the galaxy’s most powerful trading dynasty. The Syndicate probate courts are already girding themselves for the endless court battles that are about to ensue."
Context: Awarded after Carl successfully orchestrates the execution of galactic matriarch Empress D’Nadia during Floor 9 peace talks.
You have received a Celestial Regicide Box.
Charge of the Light Brigade.
"Okay, so there are traps. There are TRAPS. And then there’s what you just walked into. Oh man, oh man. It’s gonna be glorious, but those casualty reports are gonna be crazy."
Context: Awarded upon leading an armored charge into the teeth of an entrenched syndicate artillery killzone.
I’ll give you a good one if you live and don’t escape via some bitch-ass cop out.
Varg Vikernes!
"Whoa, now. Calm down there, black metal enthusiast. Breaking into and defiling a church is one thing, but breaking into Club Vanquisher and blowing up the inner sanctum is the equivalent of giving the pope a wedgie."
Context: Awarded after Carl blasts through the heavily guarded divine sanctum of Club Vanquisher.
You are permanently banned from Club Vanquisher. You are permanently banned from all temples except your own religion’s church.
Liquified.
"You, while immortal, blew yourself up. Like, you dropped a bomb at your feet. Hot damn! We have seen some crazy shit this season, but that was something special."
Context: Awarded when Carl detonates an explosive at his own bare feet while invulnerable.
You’ve received a Platinum Kamikaze Box.
You in my house now, boy!
"You pissed off a god to his face, and you have faced that god in battle in their own temple."
Context: Awarded when Carl confronts the god Khepri inside his consecrated temple, saved only by Hellik’s intervention.
None! The only reason you’re not getting a celestial box for this is because your ass was saved by another god.
Celestial Orgy of Chaos!
"You have been in the presence of more than ten gods at once, and you survived."
Context: Awarded in Book 7, Ch. 57 as gods who shouldn’t have been let into the temple crowd the battleground.
You’ve received a Celestial Who Let the Gods Out This Time? box.
Hey Larry, can I borrow your chainsaw?
"You have utilized a borrowed skill or spell in battle. You have used this borrowed ability to kill an opponent. Oh, man. This opens up a whole can of worms."
Context: Awarded for killing an enemy using a borrowed skill mediated through crawler party links.
You’ve received a Platinum Have You Goddamned Figured Out How To Use This In Conjunction With the Fucking Voodoo Book Yet? Jesus Christ I Can Only Help You So Much box.
Raises Pugilism combat skill to level 15.
Holistic!
"Your feed has reached a 95%+ viewer ratio of a single system! Over 95% of all viewers in the Naga Protectorate of the New Reformer are watching your feed."
Context: Awarded in Book 7, Ch. 58 as a Naga leader explains a deal he drafted and signed.
You have received a Legendary Fan Box! (Voted on exclusively by viewers in the Naga system).
You now tread in the realm of gods!
"You’ve trained a skill past 15 using battlefield conditions, as opposed to cheat codes or potions. That is an accomplishment. Level-16 Mind Balance will now wake your ass up."
Context: Awarded while Carl is mentally paralyzed by psionic barrages and awakens through sheer Mind Balance training.
The skill is the reward. Level-16 Mind Balance unlocks deep psychic shielding.
Executive Order 11905!
"A galactic power—In this case, Prime Minister Glory himself—just attempted to assassinate you using a little known control panel override. It didn’t work. And not only did it not work, but now I’m irritated."
Context: Awarded when the System AI intercepts and repels an illegal syndicate executive kill-switch override targeted at Carl.
Prime Minister Glory is now a valid target in the System kill-list registry.
Interstellar Broadcast Log
"We brought the war to your living rooms. Now we bring it to your gods." — Carl [Book 7, Ch. 54]
"I am the Ash Bolt Executioner. This contract is fulfilled." — Mordecai [Book 7, Ch. 86]
"Li Jun didn't blink. Not once." — Carl [Book 7, Ch. 68]